Each week (roughly), I’m posting my reflections on a chapter in Devotions for Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas. You can read all of them here. This week is about setting a good example for our children in our lifestyle. Thomas asks us to consider what morals we’re teaching our family and what type of legacy we’ll leave behind.
Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26
I can say that one thing that becoming a mother has done for me is renew my gratitude to my parents for creating a loving, supportive home for me and my siblings. I know it couldn’t have been easy at times with six of us, two of us from my mom’s previous marriage, but they did it.
We moved a lot growing up, and my parents are still always on the move, but wherever they go they bring a sense of home. I know every time I see them, whether it be in Oregon or a different state, at my place or theirs, I’ll be accepted with open arms and engaged with on a deep level. Everywhere I go, I carry their legacy deep in my bones, whether it be my mom’s deep empathy, my dad’s love for study and knowledge, or their ability to give countless second chances (and third chances, and fourth, and so on).
As Ryan and I raise Aurora, I often think of what legacy we’ll leave behind. Certain things I know she’ll see in us and we’ll try to foster in her: a love for the outdoors, music, books, and spirituality. I hope when she’s older she can rely on gifts we gave her, gifts of love, presence, and laughter.
I’m working on certain parts of myself in order to be a better role model, too. I want to be more assertive and decisive. I don’t want to neglect important things like my health or my uncomfortable feelings about a situation.
There are other things that I loved as a child that aren’t present in my life right now, so it may take time to cultivate those. I had a religious community growing up that felt like one big family, even if it was dysfunctional at times. Right now, especially with the COVID-19 pandemic, I live a more isolated life. The solitude has been good for me in many ways, but I want Aurora to grow up knowing all kinds of people and learning from them. So that’s a change I’d like to make soon.
It’s a big responsibility, raising a child into an adult. Thomas points out that “just as God created man and women in his* own image, so we parents end up creating boys and girls very much in our image.” I see this in myself, ways that I see my mom in me as I get older. I wonder what things Aurora will pick up from me or from Ryan. I know it will be a mix of good qualities and flaws. Fortunately, God is here for us as we parent her, whether we need strength to become who we need to be or compassion for our shortcomings.
What about you? What legacy do you hope to leave behind? Where do you need to grow for your children and for yourself?