It’s Friday, and results from Tuesday’s US presidential election are still coming in. Many people feel tense as the last of the votes are counted. The president claims there’s been election fraud. In Oregon, our governor activated the National Guard in case there were any riots in cities like Portland. Many worry that no matter who wins, their opponents will react with violence.
How can mindfulness help us in times like these?
I recently listened to an instruction and meditation led by Tara Brach called Pathway to Non-Doing Presence. The talk’s description reads:
While meditation begins with purposeful collection of attention, it leads to non-doing presence, to Being. In this guided practice, we arrive in presence through a body scan and attention to the breath, open the attention to changing experience, and then explore the freedom of not controlling anything, and letting life be just as it is.
As hard as it is to accept, this idea of “letting life be just as it is” could lead us through this election. Accepting how things are are not approval of them. But acceptance is a way we can recognize our lack of control over others. If you voted, you exercised your right to autonomy, but we can’t control other people’s votes, how these votes are counted, or how they operate within a larger system like the electoral college.
This idea of non-doing presence can apply to many stressful situations. This year has been riddled with division and disagreement. I may not approve of the fact that some people choose not to wear masks in certain instances, but I can accept it. That acceptance does more for me than anyone else. It helps me let go of resentment, derision, or anger towards that person.
When we accept something that makes us feel uncomfortable, we take a step toward mental well-being. By accepting what we cannot change, we liberate ourselves to enjoy life, anyway.
For example, it pains me that certain family members and friends haven’t held my eight-month-old daughter because of the pandemic. It pains me even more to think by the time they feel safe enough to do so, she’ll most likely be out of the infant stage and will be a rowdy toddler. There’s a certain connection with Aurora that those people will never experience, and I’ll never experience the joy of seeing them with my daughter as a baby.
When I accept their choice, and the pain that comes with it, I can let go of my desires for the situation. I can instead see their fear as respect for the well-being of themselves and my family. I can still appreciate their love, even if there is no physical component of that love.
There are no problems. Only situations — to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the “isness” of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with.
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
Social media and technology that keeps us continually connected creates an illusion of control. They can very easily spread the lie that we must change whatever it is that is bringing people pain right now.
Awareness about racism has been rising for the last few years since the Black Lives Matter movement started, and it erupted this summer with the murder of George Floyd. This awareness is crucial to our country’s well-being. By hearing the stories and listening to the pain of oppressed non-dominant populations, we evolve our consciousness and empathy for others.
Unfortunately, though, social media has often intensified the pain and presented us with many situations that can’t be changed right now. Then helplessness and anger at the current situation lead us to even more pain.
As a multiracial woman who was raised in a white family, I feel helpless when I hear about black men and women being killed across the country. I can donate to worthy causes, I can vote mindfully, I can spread the word, and I can have meaningful conversations about race. But the list of things I can do ends at a certain point, and instead I’m left with my current situation. And often times, I have little control over police brutality.
This is not a denial of personal responsibility. It’s reality. Mindfulness and being present helps us see reality exactly as it is.
When we fully recognize what we don’t have control over, we also begin to see what we can change, when the time is right. So although Tara Brach’s meditation explored the freedom to let life be as it is, this is obviously not sustainable for every situation. If we’re hungry, we shouldn’t let ourselves be hungry until we starve. We can adapt that to larger situations, as well, whether it’s police brutality, riots in our city, or authoritarian governments.
In the meantime, while we wait, breathe, recognize what is out of your control, and accept what is.