You are a special snowflake.
Yes, you. I know what most people say: you’re not unique, your stories aren’t new, you don’t deserve a trophy. That last one may be true, actually, but not the rest of it.
You are a unique combination of genetics from two specific people who came together one day long ago. Your father contributed his genetic makeup, and your mother carried you for nine months while her body nurtured you into a tiny human. Then one day, your mother gave birth to you.
You now have your mother’s narrow shoulders and your father’s hair, your grandmother’s skin color and your grandfather’s expressive eyes. Every person who has come before you — parents, grandparents, greats, great-greats, and on and on — have given parts of themselves to make you.
You were raised through childhood with a specific family. You took your first steps, then fell on your butt. You picked up words in English and overcorrected your grammar rules, saying “haved” instead of “have.” You learned how to read on the scratchy brown chair in the living room. You held a baby sister who came too early, yet survived. You were scared of the dog who’d knock you down out of excitement.
We all have these experiences from childhood, yet yours are completely unique to you. Your house, your parents, your country, your language. Yes, your siblings also share some or all of these. A twin may even see the same face in the mirror. But mix these with your name. Your reaction to your first CD. Your struggle with your third grade teacher. Your passion for drawing. Your best friend you watched MTV with when you weren’t allowed to yet.
It’s all a completely unique blend of DNA, memories, emotions, desires, and thoughts — never conceived of before, never to be replicated again.
This carries into adulthood, even as we fall into routines, even as we see our parents’ habits come through in us. Right now, I sit in a workshop for work writing this while my boss teaches other about fundraising for nonprofits, a totally unique moment. Emily, daughter, wife, writer, born August 18, 1988, and now sitting in Albany at 3:05pm on August 8, 2021, writing on my laptop on the back porch. And you, reading those words on your phone or desktop, wherever you may be. You will never read these words for the first time again.
It reminds me of an important point from my Linguistics classes in college. When studying the difference between animal and human languages, we learned human languages can create completely new sentences that had never been made before while animal languages can’t.
The blue dream smelled like Harry Potter.
See? Brand new.
Same with you.
When life began, just a tiny spark of something loving and holy, it exploded, multiplying and evolving into endless incarnations. Earth is the only place with life that we know of and certainly the only one in a number of lightyears. Life can’t be stopped once it begins.
Everything we’ve seen out in space is dead, yet Earth is teeming with 7.5 billion humans, 8.7 million species of animals, a deep ocean with miles and miles of unknown mysteries, and almost four hundred thousand species of plants.
And you.
I’m sorry, but you don’t deserve any special treatment from others because of your uniqueness. Everyone else is just as new and distinct. But your experience, your life, deserves something special from you. This brand new life that no one else will ever have deserves to be seen as sacred.
Your life will never be lived again, unless we’re living in a warped science fiction reality like Bandersnatch. But chances are this life is just a breath — here for a moment, then gone.
It’s all in your hands. What will you do with it to take advantage of it?
No one else will live your life for you. No one else can take care of your body or mind or emotions the way you can. No one else can bring you joy the way you can. No one else can spread love the way you can. No one else can take advantage of all the opportunities you’ve been given.
I don’t advocate living without regard for others. You could then ruin someone else’s unique experience. I don’t advocate chasing after cheap pleasures, either. Chase after what is good and eternal, things that will make this life rich, things that will nourish you and those around you.
The Hebrew word qodesh is often translated as holy in the Bible, and it can also be translated as set apart, especially for a specific purpose. Your life is before you: you can fall into line, blend into the crowd, and see your life as just another part of the mass of humanity. You can live to please others and forget your uniqueness. Or you can seize the opportunities you have as you and find what purpose you’re set apart for.
I’m on my own path to embrace this one opportunity at my life. I’m here for you, rooting and praying for you as we continue on our journeys together. Love you.