We’ve all been there. The thing needs to get done. We’re the only person who can do it. But we delay it. Again. Then again. Another day. Another week. What’s going on here? We know we can do it, but we don’t do it!
In my view, there are a few reasons we procrastinate:
- It’s tedious, boring work we want to avoid (laundry or dishes)
- We don’t have the proper mindset or attention we need to accomplish the task to our preferred standards
- We’re afraid of something that could occur either during or after the task
How to handle the first one: just do the laundry. Do it as soon as you have time, so it can be off your plate. What does it cost you to procrastinate? How much mental and emotional energy does that task take up in your mind and heart when you hold onto it? What could you be doing instead, if you just did the task?
I have been working a lot on procrastination over the last few years, and I’ve gotten better at simply doing the thing right away, in order to free up mental space. That really started to sink in after I had a baby. I started thinking, “I do not have the time or patience to NOT do things and let them pile up.” In a way, it’s a gift to my future self. I have 20 minutes right now to straighten up the kitchen, and the Emily that is going to be cooking dinner in three hours will be so grateful.
This mindset — just do the thing — can be applied to the second reason pretty easily, as well. If you’re a perfectionist and you want it done exactly the right way, it may never be accomplished. You may never write the book. You may never record that album. You may never paint the bathroom your dream color. Isn’t it better to have a book written, even if it needs a few revisions, than to have no book at all?
Perfectionism doesn’t believe in practice shots. It doesn’t believe in improvement. Perfectionism has never heard that anything worth doing is worth doing badly–and that if we allow ourselves to do something badly we might in time become quite good at it.
Julia Cameron
As for the last one, the heaviest one… you may not recognize this is truly the reason you’re procrastinating something. That’s okay. For some of us, it takes time and practice to have awareness of deeper emotions like fear or shame. Think of the task you’re procrastinating — the one that isn’t just tedious work, the one that isn’t being delayed because of perfectionism.
What are you afraid will happen when you do this task? Sit for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and envision yourself doing the task. What comes up for you in your body or in your thoughts? Can you sit with those feelings and thoughts for a few minutes?
Remind yourself why you’re doing the thing. For example, this post was inspired by someone asking for advice on why she keeps procrastinating turning down an adjunct position at work. In her case, she’d want to remind herself why she’s turning it down and why it’s important to her not to do it.
For me, I still delay tasks that will bring up any emotions I don’t want to deal with quite yet. Scheduling doctor’s appointments makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like my doctor; he has the bedside manner of an awkward uncle. I know I need a new Rheumatologist, but I’ve been putting off looking for a new one. I don’t want to schedule an appointment months out since many specialists in my area are booked up. I don’t want to meet a new doctor and establish a new rapport. Recognizing this reluctance and accepting it can help me forge ahead, anyway.
We can be patient with ourselves, allow the discomfort, and practice awareness with those feelings. We can recognize our patterns of choosing our comfort zone instead of venturing out. When we see it and accept it, it’s easier to break out of it. In fact, sometimes it happens without our conscious intention. If we’re present with ourselves, we’ll be surprised at how naturally we change and grow.