One particular bend in the road of my journey (the story I’ll tell for the rest of my life) started when I found Love Is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky. Visit part one of these lessons here.
It’s a thin book, barely over 150 pages. Preparations, ingredients, and lessons for personal transformation. It’s simple and straightforward, and yet has deep meaning. Its message was a catalyst, and the words dropped me into the vast pool of water that is the present moment. Because the message itself was so simple, I could explore the depths of it in my own life. What did it really mean, for me personally, to let go of fear and love instead?
You’ll also find the lessons as phone wallpapers in a gallery further down in the post — feel free to save and use them!
Lesson 7: Today I will judge nothing that occurs.
“Not judging others is another way of letting go of fear and experiencing Love. When we learn not to judge others—and totally accept them, and not want to change them—we can simultaneously learn to accept ourselves.”
This lesson focuses on our mindset of how we view the world, and especially people around us. Evaluating others based on our own standards, criticizing their faults, and holding negative opinions about people are all forms of judgment.
When we see the world through this lens, it locks us into disappointment and frustration. Consistently focusing on what needs to change (according to you) has adverse effects on how we treat others and ourselves.
This suggestion might seem out there for you, if not impossible. Try it in small ways at first–maybe you will judge nothing about one particular person, or judge nothing about a specific area of your life, like work.
We all start somewhere, with small steps. It’s a practice. Changing your mindset and how you interact with the world takes time and repetition. We are undoing a lot of old habits and old ways of thinking. When you start to get discouraged, simply return to the practice and trust in the process.
Lesson 8: This instant is the only time there is.
“We feel vulnerable when we believe that the fearful past is real and forget that our only reality is Love, and that Love exists this instant. Feeling vulnerable, we expect that the past will repeat itself. We see what we expect, and what we expect we both invite and seek. Past guilt and fears are thereby continually recycled.”
This is my favorite lesson from this book. It is so simple and yet so true. The only time we have is right now. Our attachments to the past drag us back, away from the present, and our fears or idealistic hopes about the future pull us forward, out of the present.
The present won’t always be comfortable or pleasant. But it is the place where creation happens, where we can truly embody ourselves, and where love exists. Our body is continuously in the present moment, but our minds wander easily and our hearts cling to old emotions.
When you can bring all three into the present, you’ll see yourself creating your life instead of letting life happen to you. Inner peace is found in the moment, and the path to follow your bliss is clear.
It’s all in the moment.
Lesson 9: The past is over–it can touch me not.
“To let each second be a new birth experience is to look without condemnation on the present. It results in totally releasing others and ourselves from all the errors of the past. It allows us to breathe freely and experience the miracle of Love by sharing this mutual release. It allows for an instant healing where Love is ever present, here and now.”
I’m always surprised when someone believes people can’t change. I have experienced big changes in my life, and in the lives of my family members and friends, again and again.
Change is completely natural, even inevitable, but if we resist it, the changes we go through will be malformed. Or the changes could be the opposite of what we wanted to happen. If we’re stuck in the past, or keep others locked in their pasts, we get trapped in cycles of hurt, resentment, and bitterness.
We can free ourselves from the fear and guilt of the past by intentionally choosing the present. We can cherish the past and how it led us here, and then let go of any grievances over something that happened.
I love the phrase in this quote: “this mutual release.” Have you ever had someone forgive you for something stupid or hurtful you did in the past, even though you didn’t feel like you deserve it? Didn’t it feel like a mutual release or a weight off your chest? When we forgive, we can experience freedom and healing.
Lesson 10: I could see peace instead of this.
“Whatever is real in our lives can only be experienced now. We block the possibility of fresh and novel experiences in our lives when we attempt to relive in the present our memories of episodes from the past, whether painful or pleasurable. We are, therefore, in a continual state of conflict about the actual happenings of the present and are unable to directly experience the opportunities for happiness that are all about us.”
Something my coach Stacey Boehman says is, “What if nothing’s gone wrong?” I love this. It makes me rethink the ideas of right and wrong, of should and shouldn’t, of good or bad.
Think of something that fills you with worry, dread, tension–the opposite of peace. What if the emotions you’re experiencing in a certain situation is based on the assumption that things *shouldn’t* be that way? What if this is the way it was supposed to happen all along? What if you’re missing out on something in the present because you’re too focused on what should be different?
This shows up for me most frequently and powerfully in my relationships. Of course, I have an idea of how people should act, how they should treat me, how often they should reach out. But each of these people has their own free will, and their actions will inevitably fall out of line of my idea of how things should be.
When I let go of the idea that I can control someone else and instead choose to accept people exactly as they are, a host of new possibilities open up in our relationship. Opportunities for peace, love, and growth are everywhere, if we choose to see them.
Lesson 11: I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
“If we perceive things not as problems but rather as opportunities for learning, we can experience a sense of joy and well-being when the lessons are learned. We are never presented with lessons until we are ready to learn them. In my mind are thoughts that can hurt me or help me. I am constantly choosing the contents of my mind, since no one else can make this choice for me. I can choose to let go of everything but my Loving thoughts.”
March 5th of last year, my daughter was born. My husband and I were full of hope and expectation for our little family. We were so excited for our parents, siblings, and grandparents to share in our joy. Less than a week after Aurora was born, Oregon went into lockdown because of COVID-19.
Those few months were full of fear and uncertainty. I had to ask my mom not to stay with us for a month to help with the baby, since she’d be coming from out of state and we weren’t sure if it was safe. We didn’t get to visit our nephew in the hospital when he was born 7 weeks later. We didn’t see certain family members for weeks, others for months.
It was just me and Ryan, sleep-deprived and lonely, taking care of a newborn who had ear-piercing screams and runny newborn shits. I had to heal from a C-Section and grieve what I thought my daughter’s birth and her first few months in the world were going to be like.
I felt the pain and loneliness and fear, but I let those go and chose to instead foster gratitude that Ryan got two months off of work instead of two weeks, that I had access to unemployment, and that we had so much alone time together as a new family. I chose love for my family instead of focusing on the fear that we were missing out on something.
Where do you see painful thoughts in your own mind? What loving thoughts can you replace them with?
Lesson 12: I am responsible for what I see.
“I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide
upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me,
I ask for, and receive as I have asked.
If you want step-by-step guidance and coaching on your path to implement these lessons, you can book a consult with me to discuss where you are now and where you want to be.